La Cheesy Poof Resistance
by ToastyToastyToaster
Summary: Connor is a soldier, fighting in a devastating war. Carrtman, being the spoilt child he is, has split the world over Cheese Puffs and Cheesy Poofs. While he lives the high life, eating the Cheesy Poofs his soldiers have acquired, Connor must steal them from the factories. But when more and more soldiers go over to the Cheese Puff side, what will Connor do? Will he save his Mother?
1. Prologue

Prologue:

Many years ago, in the distant and faraway land of America, there lived a boy.

This special little boy was spoilt beyond belief. Each day, his loving a caring Mother- who obviously cared for everything _but _his weight- would feed him a packet of Cheesy Poofs. In fact, the boy, Eric Cartman, even went as far to appear of a Cheesy Poof advert once.

But, alas, all that is good must one day end.

Because on his fifteenth birthday, Eric Cartman didn't receive the routinely packet of Cheesy Poofs.

Instead, he got something else.

Cheese Puffs.


	2. Chapter 1

BOOM!

The bomb goes off and I push myself against the wall, pulling Kevin back as I do, my breathing labored from running. We narrowly miss impact and pieces of nearby rock fly in front of us, some leaving small cuts on my face. Quickly, Kevin nods at me, and then gets up, running in front of me, and I follow behind him. The German factories have always been hard ones to infiltrate. This is our second assignment here together, Kevin's third, with his partner before me.

We do the usual, and jump over the rock fortress and into the factory. Several soldiers point there guns at us, but we hold out ours too, and shoot mercilessly. They fall quickly and we easily dodge their bullets.

Reaching the Poof room, we both run for the nearest crate of Cheesy Poofs. I aim for the furthest to the right, and Kevin the furthest to the left. This way, they can't kill us both in one go. I hear the explosion just as I'm about to reach the crate and I'm left flying off of my feet and forward. I land on top of the crate, and, ignoring the pain in my ribs, I pick it up and run.

Kevin's already in front of me. We make it out of the door just in time, because I can feel the flames behind me. Without turning to look at the wasted Cheesy Poofs, we run out onto the streets of Berlin.

All of its locked up citizens look out of their windows and press their emergency buttons, but it's no use. We're already down the pothole that leads to the base. I count the potholes as we run. One, two, three, four... Five. We stop and make our way up it, into the woods. I knock on the nearest tree, and it opens. From there, we take the stairs into the underground.

It's been this way for a year now. Cartman started this war to eat Cheesy Poofs, and it has split the world. We, La Cheesy Poof Resistance, own North America, South America, the UK, Ireland, Japan and China. The Cheese Puff Society own the rest of the world, except for Africa, which has totally blocked itself off from the rest of the world.

I've been working as one of Cartman's secret agents for three months now; ever since my Mother was taken from me by The Cheese Puff Society as a hostage to try and bribe my home country of South Africa into joining them. They didn't and I haven't seen my Mum since. I have vowed to take revenge on them for as long as I live.

"Kid, are you okay? You're normally more talkative." I look at Kevin. He's nineteen, three years older than me, and probably Cartman's most loyal soldier. It doesn't show because he's probably the best friend I've ever had. I've heard that his cause is the same as mine. Apparently, he used have a family; a brother, and sister, and parents. He worked for The Cheese Puff Society until they took his family away for experimentation purposes. I shiver. "Kid?"

"Yeah," I lie. "I'm just worried what Cartman will say to the fact that we've only brought two crates." In fact, this is not a lie. I am worried. Normally, when we find the crates we alert more soldiers to come pick them up. This time, the explosion meant there was no point.

"Oh, yeah." He runs his hand through his hair, momentarily taking it off of the crate. "I'm worried too..."

With that, our conversation is over and in comes floods of silence.

Eventually, we reach the end of the stairs, only to hear shouting.

"WHAH DA YA MEAN SOLDIERS HAVE BAHN SWITCHING SAHDES?"

I push open the door with my crate and we peer in to see what's happening. The scene is this: Cartman, as usual, is sitting on his Cheesy Poof throne. In front of him there is a soldier messenger from low down the lines. From my guess, he can only be aged around ten or eleven. But he has that look in his eyes that says he's saw death.

Once someone sees death, their life changes.

"Well, s-sir... fifteen more soldiers have left the German base today."

"BUT WEH MOVING TO PRAGUE TOMORRAH!"

"I-I know sir..."

"Kevin?!" Cartman looks at us and I know he knows we've been spying in. I shudder.

"Yes, sir," Kevin asks, dropping the crate. Cartman looks at the minuscule amount of Cheesy Poofs and frowns.

"Whah 'appened to mah Cheesah Poofs?"

"They were destroyed before we could get to them, sir," says Kevin, almost solemnly. Cartman growls.

"HOW IS THIS HAPPNEN TO ME TODAH! MOOOOOOOM!" Cartman's Mum walks in, with a tray of biscuits already prepared, and a smile on her face. I don't know how she does it. I've been in fights with Cartman before, and I ended up just taking his beatings.

"Yes, hun," she asks, beaming.

"All mah soldiers ah leaving, ahnd ahm hungry!"

"Here, have a biscuit," she says.

Realising the focus has been taken off of us, me and Kevin leave the room, laying our crates down just outside the room.

I suddenly know I'm tired, and I seem to suddenly drop.

"Hey, man, I'm going to bed," I say, walking towards my door.

"Okay," smiles an unfazed Kevin. "See you tomorrow!"


End file.
